Who Am I?

I have been struggling with this question for a long time and will continue to struggle with it. Who am I and what does God want from me (in the vocations sense)? I think this question is a part of discernment. I am trying to figure out what abilities God has given me and what talents and desires I have. Where do I find true joy?

By now you know about my struggle with not having a lot of people at C-N like me too much, but I think I have figured out a little bit more why. Lately, I have been on a Hannah Montana kick because she has some really good songs! My favorite is "Nobody's Perfect." The whole song describes me, but two lines really jump out. "My intentions are good, just sometimes misunderstood." I think that is the problem I have with others here at school.

This aggravates me because I wish I could be understood, but I know that is impossible when I don't even understand myself. I don't understand how God has made me and/or why He made me this way. And I am not sure I will ever find out the answers to some of the questions on this earth.

One thing I am beginning to notice in my life is the results of Confirmation, the Eucharist, and Reconciliation. I remember when I first joined the Church, I geuss I expected to be changed instantly. Well, of course I wasn't, but I am beginning to see some changes. It truly amazes me how the Holy Spirit has empowered me. I am doing things now I would have never had thought about doing before (i.e. being a lector, being an altar server, and wanting to help those in need). I see the peace given to me through Reconciliation and how the some of the sins that seem like they have been apart of me forever are beginning to slowly disappear out of my life.

All that said..., I am still not sure where I am going. Where is Christ leading me? Where does He want me to go? One thing I know for ceartin...that I am suppose to be more like Christ everyday. I really like this picture because it is Jesus with the cup of His blood in one hand and His body in the other and He is offering it to us. It truly is through the Eucharist that we are nourished by Christ and become more and more like Him.

I know I want to be nourished by Him. I want to be more like Him each day! I long to do His will for me. I am just afraid, but I know I must keep my faith in Christ. I almost feel like one of the wise men. I feel I am on a pilgrimage, trying to follow the star, so that I can go and worship Christ the King the way God has called me, whether it be as a priest or something else. I know through the Holy Spirit and through the Eucharist I will be sustained and be who Christ wants me to be....Bo.