So, I have decided to turn this blog into my blog about my discernment of the Roman Catholic priesthood. It starts.........not yet............................almost!....................NOW!
Well, this week has been full of discernment issues!!! First off, this summer, once again, I got comfortable with the idea of me going into a business management vocation. After all, I love McDonald's and I love business. Towards the end of the summer I even decided to attempt a relationship with a girl who I love dearly and who is a good friend of mine. My reasoning was I did not want to not attempt a relationship and never know if it would have worked out. Well, it has been two weeks and I think I might have figured out the answer to that question.
This girl is a great girl and one of my best friends, so that actually makes it great because I know she will be for me no matter what. However, it does hurt me because she does have feelings for me and I can't make myself have the same feelings for her. We talked two nights ago and I don't believe I will forget that night for a long time. She literally put a sword through me or at least that is the way it felt. You could see in her eyes the compassion she had for me as a friend. Hearing he tell me how I am a "good person" and someone of "strong faith" broke me down. Hearing her say my faith shows because I am even considering the priesthood. Wow. Now that will break down anyone with poor self-esteem I do believe! She went on to tell me no matter what I decide she will love me and be my best friend. What brought me to my knees emotionally and spiritually was her saying that if I decide to be a priest she would be in my parish........my parish?!......wow.
The next day I go to Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament surrendering once again to Jesus and consecrating myself to his Sacred Heart. Well, Mass begins and Deacon Jim said the words that almost made me fall backwards in my chair (no really!!). His last words were he challenged us to say "yes" to what God is calling us....."no matter how crazy it sounds." Wow once again. The night before I was just talking about how crazy all this sounds...well, I guess the Holy Spirit answered that question for me.
I have decided to spend at least one hour in prayer each day, plus pray the Rosary each day between classes, an hour of Adoration on Wed., plus Mass on Sunday and Wed., be an Altar Server, join Knights of Columbus, and help teach 10th grade CCD. I do this to help me with my discernment yes, but most importantly for the Glory of God! Oh how I have fallen in love with him in my discernment and I continue to fall in love more and more each day. This discernment has and is very tough, but no matter what happens it is such a blessing from God that He has chosen me to discern the holy priesthood. What an honor from God. May everything I do bring Glory to God!
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